In These Heels

Archive for July, 2010

Theres much debate on the interwebs about Tom Boys. Seemingly Brad Pitts daughter prefers to dress in boys clothes, have short hair, and generally ‘act like a boy’.  Everyone is questioning if its finally acceptable for girls to break away from the Pink clutches of clichés, to finally be able to wear boys pants, and say ‘Hey, I can skateboard and hock up greeners too you know!’.

Its great that its created such debate, but what actually gets me is that all through these discussions we are still classifying these kids. Girls want to do boy things. Like what?  What makes a thing a ‘boy thing’? Dirt? Danger?  And boys who want to do ‘girl things’. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I expect hubby to take as much part in raising OUR child as I do, so if at the age of 5, or 6, he should have wanted to play houses, or push dolly in a pram, its only role play, and not something that only girls should be doing, its something that kids see both parents doing, and the same goes for cooking, most tv chefs are blokes.

And on the flip side of that coin. Girls who refuse to play with dolls aren’t doing themselves any favours. You will grow up, you will fall in love, and you, no matter whether you like to admit it or not, are the one with the womb. If you want a family, then a few practice sessions when you are in your summer hols, clip clopping about in your mums old stilettos from the ’80s isn’t going to turn you into a Stepford Wife.  Pretending to change tires on your bike (blue or pink) wont go amiss either.

The fact that these debates still include the divide is exactly WHY the divide is not about to be lifted. I was what you would call a Tom Boy, prefering the company of lads, to girls, and I’m still like that.  But I was the one with the painted nails, covered in mud. I was the one with the wellies with high heels, and a slingshot in my pocket. I was the one with the plaited hair, and the pretty skirts that caught on barbed wire.  Now I wear my football tops to the pub to watch the match, but still with full make up, tight jeans and high heels, and build fences wearing designer sunglasses.

You can do whatever the heck you like. You are you. Just cos some eejit on BBC news says thats boyish, doesn’t mean you have to listen to them. I know I haven’t.

I hate death. Hate it more than anything else in the world. I hate how it makes you feel as soon as you hear, shocked, worried, reflective. I hate the funeral, seeing people weeping so hard, not having words to say to comfort friends and family you have known all your life. I hate that sinking feeling afterwards, when you think you see them, or you want to tell them something, but then you remember you can’t.
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Its my day off. In fact, I’m off all week! And its GREAT!

I had an idea on Twitter last night, to document my day off. Like Ferris Bueller, only with better hair, and shoes. And so it starts!

Woke up, 8.30. Something fell down the stairs. My son had dropped one of his rollerblades as he went down to play the xbox. I dont know why he was carrying them either.

I had to get up. Tea. Biscuits. Sofa. Requires no heels.

And Batfink pj’s. Obviously.

I’ve been ebaying
M&S Heels, 99p, thank you very much!

Again, 99p, Primark Gucci-esque heels that never made it to my local store.

Finally, Topshop Unique heels. £38 on ebay, still with the stickers saying £115 original price.  I am undecided on them, especially what to wear with them!

1st August is mobile phone upgrade day! Yay! I’ve had my trusty Samsung Pixon for 18 months, and although I still love it, and its 8mp camera, I am more than ready for a change.

But I need help. What should I get?! I have few preferences, but must have a decent camera, and be internet capable, Wi-Fi would also be ideal. I’m with T-Mobile, and they do not yet have iPhone4, would it be worth it if I waited? or should I go for HTC Desire, or Blackberry, or similar?

The biggest problem with these smart phones, is that they require a 24 month contract. WTF? Its longer than most serious relationships!! I’m gonna try my best to bet 18 months at the most.

Comments below please!!

My mother in law died last year on this date.

We were not close, but certainly towards the end, we had a lot more affection for each other. She realised I wasn’t so bad, and I realised her annoying ways were just the things that made her who she was.

Her passing didn’t affect me so bad directly, but it affected those around me greatly. My husband and son, my father in law, and mother in laws elderly mum. To say the past year has been hard would be an understatement. It was my sons first family death, and he was almost 7 at the time. She was buried on my sons birthday, which made me feel like absolute shit. To be there for hubby, but not for my son? I can’t pick and choose between the men in my life like that, and I hope I never have to again.

My husband and his father are now all that is left of a very small family, and although me and my son double the numbers, its still teeny. So we have no excuses not to do things together, and now spend much more time talking, and just simply doing nothing with each other, but enjoying the company.

The worst part of today so far is that I only realised the date at about 10am. I didn’t give hubby a hug this morning, and tell him that I understand his loss, and I am here for him. I won’t see him now until 5. And I feel so so very bad about this.

Grieving never gets easier. It gets harder as the years go by and you struggle to remember someone’s face, their laugh, their mannerisms. You feel worse because you start to forget, and you swore you never would. So try not to grieve for loved ones, remember them with joy, and laughter in your heart, and don’t let sadness cloud your precious memories of them. But most importantly, enjoy them while they are still here. Because you can be certain that they won’t be forever.

Where do I go to when I am not blogging? Some times even I don’t know. I am a mum. A wife. I work. I sleep (a lot). I shop (a lot). I’m a member of a Star Wars costuming group. It seems every day I have something else on, and when life throws a little more into the mix, things can get hectic. I really should spend more time with my friends, but I always feel like I simply haven’t the energy to see them all, or the money to do anything other than sitting in the house and chatting with them.

And so, because of all these other things, my blog has had to take the very very last seat on the bus. Its lucky that there was even a seat there at all. I still haven’t found my footing in the blogosphere, so I think I will try to make a bit more form in what I will post.

I’m thinking of the following themes

Favourites: make-up, shoes, clothes, pictures, songs, movies, anything really. These change with me every week. So I will try to write a post on each of these topics.

Outfits: I really should do this every day, and I will certainly try.

Shopping: what I’ve bought, what I want, and what I cant afford.

What irks me: I like to complain. It probably should be mentioned in my list of what I do all week, cos I probably do it more than I sleep. I know Mr Heels would think so, anyway!

Life in general: This will probably be ramblings that wont mean anything to anyone else, but sometimes you just need to get things off your chest.

That’s all I can think of right now, and I probably wont stick to these, but I will try. To quote from Peter Sarstedt’s song,

But where do you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your bed
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
I want to look inside your head

Hope you keep reading