In These Heels

I hate death. Hate it more than anything else in the world. I hate how it makes you feel as soon as you hear, shocked, worried, reflective. I hate the funeral, seeing people weeping so hard, not having words to say to comfort friends and family you have known all your life. I hate that sinking feeling afterwards, when you think you see them, or you want to tell them something, but then you remember you can’t.
Read the rest of this entry »

Its my day off. In fact, I’m off all week! And its GREAT!

I had an idea on Twitter last night, to document my day off. Like Ferris Bueller, only with better hair, and shoes. And so it starts!

Woke up, 8.30. Something fell down the stairs. My son had dropped one of his rollerblades as he went down to play the xbox. I dont know why he was carrying them either.

I had to get up. Tea. Biscuits. Sofa. Requires no heels.

And Batfink pj’s. Obviously.

I’ve been ebaying
M&S Heels, they are nude and pink, and I purchased these in black when they were first in the shop, but they were half a size too small. Spotted these on the bay, 99p, thank you very much!

Again, 99p, Primark Gucci-esque heels that never made it to my local store, or if they did they sold out so quickly. They are actually really comfy, but in pre-worn condition, so will be saved more for when I really really want to wear them, and not every day.

Finally, Topshop Unique heels. Theses are more fabulous on screen than in real life unfortunately. £38 on ebay, still with the stickers saying £115 original price.  I am undecided on them, especially what to wear with them!

Sometimes waiting for sales, or ebay listings pays off!

1st August is mobile phone upgrade day! Yay! I’ve had my trusty Samsung Pixon for 18 months, and although I still love it, and its 8mp camera, I am more than ready for a change.

But I need help. What should I get?! I have few preferences, but must have a decent camera, and be internet capable, Wi-Fi would also be ideal. I’m with T-Mobile, and they do not yet have iPhone4, would it be worth it if I waited? or should I go for HTC Desire, or Blackberry, or similar?

The biggest problem with these smart phones, is that they require a 24 month contract. WTF? Its longer than most serious relationships!! I’m gonna try my best to bet 18 months at the most.

Comments below please!!

My mother in law died last year on this date.

We were not close, but certainly towards the end, we had a lot more affection for each other. She realised I wasn’t so bad, and I realised her annoying ways were just the things that made her who she was.

Her passing didn’t affect me so bad directly, but it affected those around me greatly. My husband and son, my father in law, and mother in laws elderly mum. To say the past year has been hard would be an understatement. It was my sons first family death, and he was almost 7 at the time. She was buried on my sons birthday, which made me feel like absolute shit. To be there for hubby, but not for my son? I can’t pick and choose between the men in my life like that, and I hope I never have to again.

My husband and his father are now all that is left of a very small family, and although me and my son double the numbers, its still teeny. So we have no excuses not to do things together, and now spend much more time talking, and just simply doing nothing with each other, but enjoying the company.

The worst part of today so far is that I only realised the date at about 10am. I didn’t give hubby a hug this morning, and tell him that I understand his loss, and I am here for him. I won’t see him now until 5. And I feel so so very bad about this.

Grieving never gets easier. It gets harder as the years go by and you struggle to remember someone’s face, their laugh, their mannerisms. You feel worse because you start to forget, and you swore you never would. So try not to grieve for loved ones, remember them with joy, and laughter in your heart, and don’t let sadness cloud your precious memories of them. But most importantly, enjoy them while they are still here. Because you can be certain that they won’t be forever.